What needs to be clarified is actually the terminology. SOCIALIZATION by definition is "to fit or train for a social environment." Therefore, socialization really is the preparation of our children for the community. Others tend to confuse this with SOCIALIZING which is "the active participation in a social group."

We all know that opportunities for socializing are as numerous as you'd like them to be. However, we also need to review them in light of the definition of "socialization." Are those opportunities "training" our children? Then we need to look at this training in the light of the world's values or the light of God's and, hopefully, the family's values.

Through the sacrament of Marriage we are called to attain holiness for ourselves, our spouses, and our children. We are also the primary educators of our children. Needless to say, this does not only pertain to the academic education of our children since they are learning from birth. The sacraments give us the grace to carry out this responsibility- not only Marriage, but also the Eucharist and Penance. Our Lord gives us many aids to assist us in our endeavors. The prayers, Rosary, saints, etc. are all there for our benefit to help in raising our children. And then He places tools such as Homeschooling and like-minded people to support us. Our God-given responsibility does not end at school age.

Another local homeschooling newsletter shared some home-grown "parables." As you read them, reflect on them as our children are the "products." A potter was working on making pitchers to hold water when finished. People wondered why he always kept them covered and did not practice filling them with water to see if they could do it. The potter explained that the clay needed to be covered to remain pliable until the desired shape was achieved. He did not fill them with liquid until it was dry and strong. If it wasn't and it came into contact with other objects, the vessel would bear the marks of all that had come in contact with it. A chemist studying salt was experimenting with sodium molecules. The only way he could be sure of forming the desired sodium chloride was to expose his sodium molecules only to chloride and keep the other molecules away. Otherwise the sodium molecules would indiscriminately attach to any convenient molecules which may not be desirable. A bank teller was training and was getting concerned that she only counted and practiced with real money. She was concerned about her lack of experience with counterfeits. However, after a time, when she could count money in her sleep, she was handed a counterfeit. She immediately knew it was wrong because she knew the real thing so intimately.

You, the homeschooling parents, are responsible for providing socializing activities. The opportunities are limited only by your imagination and time. But you need to focus on the HOW of your training (socializing) these children/child. What do we want them to be like? How do we want them prepared for a social environment? Then gear the activities to achieve the end results - friendships with peers (youth groups, 4-H, Scouts, altarserving, etc.)- academics (various clubs - check with school districts, supports groups, town, libraries, etc.); sports - (check with CYO, school district, town, support groups); music (lessons through various schools and organizations); community (volunteer opportunities are unlimited - pick where you want to serve - the elderly, neighbors, soup kitchens, unwed moms, pro-life activities, etc.). Then of course, because they are home, the children can be guided into interacting with adults in scheduling appointments - hair, dental, etc. As a homeschooler, you also tend to frequent churches and libraries more often and they interact professionally with other adults.

Studies were recently published in an article in Home School Researcher, Volume II Number 3. This is distributed quarterly by the National Home Education Research Institute. Citing different studies, in different parts of the country, the issue of socialization was pretty much put to rest. Because socialization brings about an understanding of oneself, as well as an understanding of others, many results were indicative of self-concept also. Most homeschooling parents tended to see their families as a microcosm of society. And felt that socialization was best achieved in an age-integrated atmosphere under the influence of family and their faith. Homeschooled children were found to have high self-esteem and to be less peer dependent than other school children. They were found to be more mature and better socialized. In a study of adults that had been homeschooled at least six years prior to age 17, they were involved entrepreneurial and professional careers.

Socialization really begins within the family. There are so many issues and personality conflicts that become evident since each family member is growing together in a much closer environment than if they were sent off to school. Others will say "it's too hard to deal with him/her," "he/she makes us miserable...... there's back talk, hassles, non-compliance, etc." and choose to return the student to an outside learning center. But... in light of SOCIALIZATION have we "trained?"...Of course not, we would have avoided! Growth as a person involves challenges by conquering them we become better people with better relationships. This is not to say that the only way to accomplish our job as parents is to homeschool. Everyone does so for different reasons ... but we also need to return them to society ready to deal with their environment.

When homeschooling, people initially address the socialization of the children. Please keep in mind, the socialization and socializing of the entire family. If you start later (not from kindergarten), there are changes in store for Mom, and maybe Dad. Her schedule would have had more "me-time" in it when the children had been away at school. Volunteering, shopping, sports, visiting, all are affected by the homeschooling schedule. So now Mom's socializing has been altered dramatically. Keep in mind this is not bad - have we been "training" ourselves according to God's ways? Now we are home with few of the "breaks" we had had or had anticipated. Our children, with their eyes and ears, are ever around and ever vigilant. They look to us for teaching but we are living, breathing models of adult behavior. What do we want them seeing us doing, saying, watching, reading, etc.? So now as adults we continue in the process of SOCIALIZATION.